you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
