butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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