Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
