Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think people are normalizing furries
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
