Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
