carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
