Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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