Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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