I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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