you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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