Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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