Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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