you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
