3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
