there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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