i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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