I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
