I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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