Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
