it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
