Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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