Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
