I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just cropdusted the office
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
