I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
