why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
