Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
