Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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