Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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