My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
