Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
