you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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