I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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