I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
