Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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