Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
