apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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