i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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