That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
People in love make me want to vomit
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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