In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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