p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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