In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
