thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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