just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
