let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
