Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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