lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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