So drunk its hurt
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
