He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize