Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
