Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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