ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
