and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
