frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize