Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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