haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Randomize
