it hurts more in the daytime
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
