And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
