I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
