I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
