pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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