There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Randomize
