I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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