ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
