Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
