i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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